Social stigmas tell us that Make-Up is only acceptable if a woman wears it. But recently, I've found many men spending some extra time in the mirror making sure they look their best. Including myself. A little foundation, a little bronzer and I'm out the door. Make-up is something that I never thought about trying, until I did. And I look and feel amazing. And I don't feel any less masculine than I did before.
But do men have an invisible layer of make-up that were unable to see through when we first meet them?
I went on a date recently with a guy who lives about twenty minutes from me. Still in the suburbs but he got me to drive over to him which for me = I find you interesting enough to drive twenty minutes for a first date.
We agreed to have a beer at his place first and talk before venturing off to this "wonderful restaurant he always goes to." I walked in and was greeted with "Are you wearing make up, your skin looks amazing" To which I responded
"Why yes, yes I am. How polite of you to ask." There was no judgment from his end but I thought it was a bit funny for him to ask. Perhaps he thought about Pretty-ing himself up too at one point.
We met through a dating app and on paper he seemed great. (which is why I drove 20 minutes there and 20 minutes back.)
Everything in his profile plus the conversations we had through text were great. We clicked, we had things in common, we shared a few secrets and stories from our past. But when we met in person; the vibe was completely different. Awkward silences, not from nervousness, but from not having anything to talk about. Our personalities soon crashed when I was scolded for setting my beer down and not putting a coaster down first.
After we painfully got through our beer ( I had left a quarter of it and tossed it in the sink while he went to the bathroom and then got scolded once again for putting it in the trash bin instead of the recycling bin) we made our way to the "best restaurant" in the area.
He suggested I drive, so I did, (what a gent) and we went to this local bar and grill I had never heard of it. Upon entering I was the brownest person there and received a handful wondering glares. We grabbed a table and didn't get service for 15 minutes. Now, I work in the business and I understand how it goes, but this wasn't a Friday night, this was a Monday afternoon.
We finally ordered and listened to the silence that sat between us.
"So what are you looking for?" He asked while squinting his eyes.
"Nothing. I go with the flow." I answered.
"You have to be looking for something." He said with confidence.
I responded with a simple "No" and he let out some extra air from his lungs through his nose.
If this date was a marathon I was now slowly, forcefully crawling my way to the finish line.
We left the restaurant and I dropped him off. I politely offered to give him a hug and thank him for his time. He was out the car before I could lean over.
He had his own layer of Make-Up, it was called Social Media. Sure on paper he seemed great, but beneath the likes, and the cute angles, he was just a regular Grade A disappointment.
Maybe we all wear make up, some invisible, some not. But what I've learned is that Online doesn't always mean On Point. The only one who looked on point that night was me.